I was on YouTube today (as I am most days) and found this great video by Tony Robbins who explains that we need to have standards and rituals to succeed.
Here are my notes based on what he said:
What is it going to take to make things happen. You need to feel like your life is making progress. It doesn’t matter what you get, possessions may excite you for the moment but if you don’t keep growing life doesn’t stay exciting.
Progress is what helps us feel alive.
Progress has an aliveness to it.
Don’t work on change. Change is automatic. Things change but progress is not automatic. You have to take control of the progress and make things happen.
Your resolutions for the year is a wish list that you hope all comes together.
When you resolve something and you cut off any possibility of it not happening you make things work.
Most people say what they hope will come together but are not vested in their success.
Everlasting change starts with a vision for what it is you really truly want. Not what you think you want or you should have but what you really want.
A vision is about what you are here to create. It has to be compelling so it has the power to pull you rather than something you need to push yourself to do.
You need something that you desire so much that you have a hard time going to sleep at night.
Our follow through comes through from our emotional intensity. How intense is your focus and intensity to pull you. A compelling vision that you want to make happen.
You need to also have compelling reasons to keep going so you can push yourself through what you need to do when life isn’t working or when you are challenged.
[I found when I was hungry and vegetable juicing I definitely need a compelling reason to stop me from eating KitKats!]
Review your vision and feel it every day. Anything in your life that you ever wanted so badly that you couldn’t stop thinking about it and visioning/imagining it that stuff happened. Situations and people came into your life because it was so a part of your focus that it started to happen even when you weren’t sure how to make things happen.
When you set a goal, you have a clear vision and you review it often enough it becomes a part of you.
Remember to review it and feel it every day and your brain will become acute at showing you things to help you to keep going.
If you are going to have lasting change in anything you need to RAISE YOUR STANDARDS 9:52
Lasting change is different from a goal. You don’t always get your goals but you get your standards.
When you decide something is an absolute must for you, you find a way and it doesn’t take willpower anymore. When you make something a must rather than a should it attaches itself to us.
We all act consistent with who we believe we are. If you define yourself as someone who is conservative you are not going to go crazy and be outrageous. When you define yourself and what you can / can’t do in your life you limit who you are.
Take a look at where you have a limitation and ask yourself ‘when did I decide to take on that limitation?’
Sometimes we adapt ourselves so we don’t fail or people will like us but it is not who we truly are.
Do things spontaneously without thinking because that is where the true you lies.
When I talk about standards and shoulds vs must think about your own life. When have you ever raised your standards and your life changed.
WE LIVE WHO WE BELIEVE WE ARE…
Your physical body is a reflection of your standards. If your standard is that you are an athlete you do whatever is necessary to maintain that identity.
16:35 If you have excuses for being overweight like you are ‘big boned’ then you will always be overweight because that is your standard for yourself.
You do not get results without some form of ritual (actions you take consistently)
Whatever you really want, wants don’t get met consistently, standards do. Expand your identity. Decide that instead of your goal to lose 10 lbs that is not compelling what if your vision is to get back to your fighting weight.
I want to feel younger and more vibrant than ever before (18:00)
Say / do whatever makes you laugh, smile and make things happen.
Money is the same way. People who make money find a way to make money. Most people’s standards is to pay their bills and that is what they do. Some people have a standard to take care of their family and friends.
People raise their standards. The inner game. Changing your life is a change in your inner game. Learn the dynamics of what shapes you. Shift your standards and everything else will shift too.
Have a standard of what you are going to do to make happen.
20:30 : Have you told yourself you are going to make something happen and then it didn’t happen? That’s because you didn’t follow through. You didn’t have rituals that made it happen. Little things you can do each day so that as you do these little things they build up so you condition your body and emotions to make things happen.
Rituals define us. All the results in our life are coming from our rituals.
If you are overweight you have a different ritual to something who is physically fit. If you are fit you jump out of bed and you start working out. If you are overweight you wake up and eat bad food!
What are the standards you hold yourself too and how do those little rituals stand up?
You don’t suddenly become successful. You become successful from all the little things that you do.
Failures are the same. All the little failures come together to cause you to fail.
Success is having a vision and making it compelling. Seeing and feeling it.
Have a ritual of something playful and funny or a surprise ritual that will help your relationship.
All the little stuff – that is where success comes from. This is true in any area of your life.
People are rewarded in public for the little things they do in private.
Who you spend time with is who you become. Get around people with low standards and you end up with low standards.
The only thing that is going to make you happen is to STEP UP and raise your standards. Discover what you are capable of and get to the other side of more of your true self.
What is your vision? If you have a vision and you don’t have rituals you are lying to yourself.
Don’t let this year be like the last. Raise the standard. Its not what we get that makes us happy it is who we become.
31:00 What is the area of your life that you really want to improve? Follow his steps.
There are two pains in life. Pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Regret is REAL HEAVY!
How this video helped me
Watching this video has really started me looking into my own standards and rituals. It is SO VERY TRUE that this time my weight loss is different because I raised my standards. I decided to become the right weight for my height, rather than focus on losing a few pounds. I have different stages and each stage takes me towards my end goal.
I also have rituals. Blogging on here. Making videos. Writing in my journal about my health. Talking with friends about healthy food. All of this is helping to remind me that I have a goal to remain healthy.
I am one of those people that Tony talks about. As long as I can pay my bills has been my motto for YEARS. Well, that definitely needs to change right now! I am clear on the fact that I need to have standards and rituals to succeed
I hope you can set aside the 30 minutes it will take to watch this video because it really is worth it.