You’re like a cat – you only call when you want something

Today’s daily prompt is called Sad but True

Tell us about the harshest, most difficult to hear — but accurate — criticism you’e ever gotten. Does it still apply? Photographers, artists, poets: show us HARSH.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/10/22/daily-prompt-harsh/

It was 2003 and I am on another self-development weekend workshop. My assignment is to ask all my friends how I “show up” – what kind of friend am I. I couldn’t believe it when after all the positive responses one male friend said.

“You are like a cat – you only ever call me when you want something.”

To him a cat is totally independent and aloof until they want to be fed then they are all over you and wanting to be stroked. Then, once fed, the disappear until their stomach is empty again.

I did my best to deny it. I sat back and thought about all the times I had called him over the last six months, well as many of them as I could remember, and I pointed out the reason for my call. Turns out he was right. I did only ever call him when I wanted something from him.

Then I realized something else. There are a number of male friends that I call only when I want something. It soon became apparent to me that I did that because I felt I could only call them if I had something to ask or to say. Mainly I had stuff to ask and so that is how I showed up as their friend. The taker with questions.

It really did help me to transform that habit and start ringing “just because” or just to say hi – no reason or intention other than to check in. It made a huge difference.

Some of the other sad but true stories